In your work, there are always problems, often in communication, decision-making, and vying for organizational power, and moreover with respect to product direction. No matter how much you focus on these problems, they never seem to go away. You’d like to think that the people you work with can all get along, all follow the same playbook, all collaborate smoothly. But often there are points of friction. Perhaps you’re in a discussion and the other person just doesn’t get your point. You start to wonder if it’s because they’re biased, power-hungry, or just a plain old narcissist. How can you deal? Surprisingly, they are probably wondering the same questions about you.

Understanding people requires time, perseverance, humility, and good listening skills. Most of these are in short supply.

The first step in “dealing” is to become aware that you have your own reactions and history guiding your thoughts. Second, you probably haven’t truly understood their point, either—what’s behind their thinking? Learning how to make a person feel heard is the most powerful skill for team collaboration. But helping them get to the thinking behind their points requires trust and rapport and enough humility to give the other person a chance to explain.

Relationships build over time, trust builds over time, and our culture emphasizes speed: fast food, quick conversation, surveys, move fast! There’s barely any room for thought. This workshop shows you how to embrace the gradual growth of relationships between collaborators. You’ll learn how to listen, to make another person feel heard. You’ll begin to develop awareness of your own thought processes as well as what a collaborator is trying to express to the rest of the team. You’ll learn how to practice this in real-time, as it unfolds. And you’ll get to try out the techniques in class.

Workshop format

• Empathy is a skill, not an emotion
• Exercise #1 Informal Listening
• Why build collaborative relationships at work
• Build awareness
  • The ways you already listen
  • Surface vs depth in conversation
  • Finding the purpose
  • Three things to listen for
• Exercise #2 Recognizing Depth (Surface vs. Depth)
• How to listen
  • The beginner’s/toddler’s mind
  • How to start
  • What to ask
  • Pay rapt attention
  • Get past the surface – micro reflection
  • Notice your assumptions
  • Don’t probe, analyze, or ask about the future
• Demo Listening
• Exercise #3 Formal Listening
• Develop rapport & trust (over time)
  • Embrace their emotion & vocabulary
  • Notice your reactions & ground them
  • Stay out of the speaker’s way
  • Never eat lunch alone
• Exercise #4 Formal Listening, Again
• History, baggage, and sensitive topics
• Where will you practice

Here is your opportunity to start practicing some new skills to make a remarkable difference in the future.